i cant have this rant here, without feeling like an idiot because i know no one will read it

my boyfriend broke up with me. and im falling apart because of it. i want him back more than anything in the world right now.
and i dont want people to see/realise how upset i actually am

i barely use this anymore, well hello.

i idolise you.

im actually really happy.

lately i feel like i have nothing to say
im not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing

you are some of my favourite people in the whole world.

"Here's to the kids. The kids who would rather spend their night with a bottle of whiskey & Patrick or Sonny playing on their headphones than go to some vomit-stained high school party. Here's to the kids whose 11:11 wish was wasted on one person who will never be there for them. Here's to the kids whose idea of a good night is sitting on the hood of a car, watching the stars. Here's to the kids who never were too good at life, but still were wicked cool. Here's to the kids who listened to Fall Out Boy and Hawthorne Heights before they were on MTV... and blame MTV for ruining their life. Here's to the kids who care more about the music then the haircuts. Here's to the kids who have crushes on a stupid lush. Here's to the kids who hum "A Little Less 16 Candles A Little More Touch Me" when they're stuck home, dateless, on a Saturday night. Here's to the kids who have ever had a broken heart... from someone who didn't even know they existed. Here's to the kids who have read The Perks of Being A Wall Flower & didn't feel so alone after doing so. Here's to the kids who spend their days in photo booths with their best friends. Here's to the kids who are straight up smart asses & just don't care. Here's to the kids who speak their mind. Here's to the kids who consider screamo their lullaby for going to sleep. Here's to the kids who second-guess themselves on everything they do. Here's to the kids who will never have 100 percent confidence in anything they do, and to the kids who are okay with that. Here's to the kids."

-Pete Wentz

thankyou pete :)

Every day you gotta wake up and be yourself even if you suck especially if you suck, because no one else sucks like you suck
- Patrick Stump

try to overcome your doubt. believe you are beautiful. look at yourself through someone else’s green eyes. Believe someone out there will find you and kiss your skin until you can feel it blister with the heat. Believe in something bigger than your problems and you will be saved
- Max Bemis

I want sign up for Camp America 2010 to open up.

it will be amazing.


I just want this year to be over. almost finished :)

nothing will compare to last week.

cause I'm overcommiting myself.
I guess this is growing up
I'm sleeping so little these days.
I guess this is growing up
I'm feeling things are about to change
I'm guessing this is growin up
yeah I'm growing up.

that post was 2 years ago; and i was too unlivejournal savy and was to weak i guess to reply to it.

so now i will

im ashamed that; the guy i like/d can effect me in such a way that i will do whatever he asks pretty much, and that shows how much of a weak person i really am, and that im comprimising who i am and what i believe in purely for a stupid high school crush

im proud that; im finally realising what im doing wrong and am trying to correct myself without comprimising who i am, and im also proud ive finally decided what i want to do with my life and that ive made it this far and havnt given up.


what are YOU proud and ashamed of?